Looking back over the few posts I have, I realised how much has changed and how little has moved. We had been falling apart - piece by piece - for months. I knew it. I could see it. He didnt want to deal with it. I fought it at first. Then he made me feel like us falling apart was my fault - always me.

I ran, far away. To a place where not even distance was the problem. We grew a black hole. Sucking every aspect of ourselves into an unretrieable space.

Is it ever going to come back? They say only time will tell, but I realise its not time, its understanding. Its trusting thats the hardest. Trusting every movement, breath or word.